Karissa Jurgens
Mr. A
English 2
HSPE practice
Letter To Sylvia
Have you ever cared about someone, and felt
they were making the wrong decision about a life changing matter? Well that is
precisely the case with me having to watch you throw your future away by
choosing emancipation. Although a very tempting option, emancipation is not the
answer because; it does not give you freedom it takes it away, a 16 year olds
mind is not fully developed, shelter will be difficult for someone of such a
young age to find, and with the low economy jobs will be nearly impossible to
find for someone who has not received a high school diploma. So please take the
advice from the ones who care about you and don’t get emancipated.
Sylvia,
my first reason for why I feel you are wrong about wanting to get emancipated
is you say you want personal freedom but all emancipation will do is take it
away. You will be so occupied with schooling and jobs that your time will be
limited so you won’t get to use your freedom. Using your “freedom” to spend
time with friends will be cut out of the picture because you will have so
little time. So pretty much anything you wanted to do with your new found “freedom”
will not be able to happen. The loss of time and freedom is just one of the
many reasons I think emancipation is not right for you Sylvia.
Another reason why I think emancipation is not
a proper fit for you Sylvia is because no one at the age of 16 has a fully developed
mind. Having an under developed mind may lead you to make bad decisions like
your emancipation for example. Also the many stresses of daily life will cause
an under developed mind to not function as it should. Because of the malfunction
of your under developed mind caused by stress you would not be able to deal
with the responsibility you would have. Therefore the look of a fully developed
mind is why you should not seek emancipation Sylvia.
My next reason for thinking emancipation
is wrong for you Sylvia is it will be extremely hard to find somewhere to live.
Home sellers will overlook your request because they will want an older more
reliable buyer that they know they can trust to take care of the place and pay
the bills on time. If by chance you were to find a home or apartment to buy or
rent, they are extremely expensive and a young unemployed person such as
yourself would’t be able to pay for it. Not only will homes be hard to find and
costly, but parents of friends won’t want you living off them either. Sylvia,
the inability to find housing is just one more reason why emancipation isn’t
right for you.
Sylvia, my last reason for thinking
emancipation is a bad choice is the low economy makes it next to impossible to
find a job. People are not going to pick someone with no experience over
someone who does. Also, most work places look for someone who has a high school
diploma, and since you don’t have one they will probably overlook your
application. Another reason why it will be hard for you to find a job is you
won’t have enough time because you will be busy with school and then homework. The
low economy that has a high unemployment rate is another reason why you shouldn’t
try to get emancipated Sylvia.
So in conclusion emancipation is
completely wrong for you Sylvia! You won’t gain freedom, ig anything you will
lose it because you’re going to be so busy all of the time. Secondly, your
brain isn’t fully developed since your only 16 which will lead you to make bad
decisions based on emotion and stress. Also, the lack of ability to find
shelter will hinder you from a lot, including a healthy life style. Lastly, the
low economy equals no jobs, especially for people without a high school
diploma. So listen to the people who care about you so you can make the right
choices to better yourself and don’t seek emancipation.
I think that this would get a 4 because it have multiple reasons why she should stay at home and it is long enough and follows the key structure.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Karissa deserves a four. She followed the key structure and provided background for all her points. Also her topics and clinchers were strong and matched.
ReplyDelete