Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Adriel McCuan

Have you ever loved someone so much and you knew they were about to make a mistake that could change their whole life? Well that is how i feel about my best friend Sylvia, she is only 16 and wants to be emancipated from her loving home. She feels this way because she feels that she has a lack of personal freedom, she hates sharing a small bedroom with her sister, and her boyfriend is in college. Although she feels trapped I think she needs to realize that boundaries are important, that she should be thankful for what she already has, and that leaving for a boyfriend is a bad idea.
First, although Sylvia feels a lack of personal freedom, she needs to realize that boundaries are important. Without boundaries how are we supposed to determine right from wrong? If rules were never set we would get in trouble for doing something wrong and wouldn't understand why we were in trouble because there were no rules. Our parents set rules to protect us, not to be "kill joys" so we have no fun, but because they love us and want us to make good decisions. Sylvia needs to realize that boundaries are important even though she feels she needs more freedom.
Second, Sylvia despises sharing a room with her sister, but i think she needs to be thankful for what she already has. Many children don't even have a room, let alone a bed, they are having to find the best shelter possible for the night or sometimes are sleeping couch to couch every night. Sylvia has a warm bedroom and a caring family that loves her very much. Although Sylvia hates sharing a bedroom she needs to be thankful for what she does have.
Third, my best friend Sylvia has a boyfriend in college, (remember that she is only 16) But she needs to understand that leaving for a boyfriend much older than her is a very bad idea. He is JUST a boyfriend, he can leave at any time. He is not her husband, so how does she know he can, or will support her? She can't support herself! She is only 16! Sylvia needs to understand why leaving for a boyfriend is a bad idea.
In conclusion, although Sylvia feels trapped I think she needs to realize that boundaries are important, without them she wont be able to make good decisions. Sylvia should be thankful for what she already has, many children don't even have a bedroom. Also she needs to understand that leaving for a boyfriend is a bad idea, he is only a boyfriend, he can leave at any time. Sylvia is my best friend and she is wanting to be emancipated, because she feels a lack of personal freedom. But I hope she will change her mind and not make a bad decision.

2 comments:

  1. Great essay! You made good points and your writing followed your points well. I would rate it a 3 because you made good points but the essay wasn't directed towards her. The audience is supposed to be her so that what you write changes her state of mind instead of someone else reading about her. Great essay and you had good points and a good structure.

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  2. I would give this a 3 because you had valid points that you carried out through the whole essay along with supporting details. The attention grabber was a good question and connected with the call to action at the end, but you didn't mention her being emancipated much in your body paragraphs, which is what the essay is about. Overall good essay with reasonable arguments.

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