Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Riley Donahue's Persuasive Essay to Sylvia

Riley Donahue
Mr. Anderson
English 2B
January 24, 2012
The Good of Restriction
            Freedom in our history has always been a high demand. We never feel to limit ourselves in the world around us. We don’t always realize the result of restriction until it is too late. Our home is where we begin our life and our time at home should not be cut short. These assigned restrictions from our elders guide us into exceeding our excellence in the future and with the people around us. So Sylvia, you should stay at home because you will become responsible, cooperative, and determined during your time at home.
            A reason that you should stay at home is you will become more responsible. At home, we learn simple gestures and manners that you will not learn anywhere else. According to the Etiquette Guide article, “Responsibility is only accomplished when we are able to stand on our own,” (Ledbetter 63). Responsibility is a complicated task to tackle, but we can’t begin our personal freedom without it. Responsibility requires confidence and support of a family and you can’t cut away any time away from them. Responsibility also requires an understanding that not everything will work out as planned. According to the Good Rules article, “Responsibility is a knowledge that is never perfect. We will never know when things will be great or when they will suck, but we learn from the mistakes so we don’t suck again,” (Arthur 108). We all have to understand the risks in life but it is responsibility that defends us from stupidity. Your personal freedom can be destroyed far worse from home without the proper understanding of responsibility. Not only will you become responsible at home, but you will also become cooperative.
            Cooperation is another key in which you will not become if you leave home. Only at home you can learn how to cooperate with others. According to the Book of Good passage, “He who knows no cooperation is a foo. It is the cooperation that we learn at home that benefits our future,” (Perry 2). Home is where you begin to learn about the thoughts of others. Your brothers and sisters need as much as you do and it is up to you whether you can cooperate and give. Without an experience like this, your interaction with other is not going to be successful. According to the Columbia article, “Our brothers and sisters are the key to understanding how to deal with people,” (Anne 1). Family can be tough to handle, but if you’re cooperative with these around you, things will improve. Whether it’s sharing your room or doing extra chores, cooperation is always appreciated. Not only will you learn from cooperation at home but also becoming determined.
            Another key you adapt when you stay at home is becoming determined. Knowing and setting a goal for yourself requires time that only home can provide. According to the Oregonian article, “Let yourself think for yourself. Let no other person besides family interfere with your success,” (Bernard 15). Your family is there for you to help you guide you to your calling and no one knows your potential better than your loved ones. If you cut this time away, no one will be there to help and guide you into what you are determined to be. Only family can understand your potential and no other being can help you reach dreams like family. According to the New York Times, “Only family can sculpt you into the person of your dreams. Friends or lovers can help you through daily problems, but only family can dig to your future,” (Cane 11). Friends are there to help you, but they can’t understand you like your family does. Your family knows what you need to get to your dreams and friends or boyfriends can’t see what you need. Leaving home early would leave you to a life that your dreams are far from reach. All of these key concepts are part of what you will become only if you stay at your home.
            You will become responsible, cooperative, and determined only during your time at home. You will become responsible at home through the confidence and strength given by your family. You will become cooperative at home through working together and sharing with others. Lastly, you will become determined through the love and support from your only family. Freedom is not always easy to grasp and is especially not easy to be patient for. So Sylvia, take this essay and learn that the days at home cannot be replaced with the days of the future. Great potential requires great patience and sometimes we need to enjoy the freedom we have at home. Freedom is a great demand, but great potential is harder to inquire. Take and learn from these restrictions before you decide to take a chance. Childhood only occurs once and after it’s over, the only thing left is what we learned from it.


  1. I give this essay a 4 because it had the topic and pov on the topic clearly stated, it also had really good points to back up his argument, and the all the paragraphs had good structure and flowed very well.

  2. I would agree but there were a couple of spelling mistakes so I give it a 3 but other that the spelling it was perfect :)


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