Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Gabrielle Roberts

        Emancipate: "To set free from restrictions." Sylvia, being your best friend, I know how much you would like to be emancipated from your home. Because of your lack of personal freedom, having to share a bed with your sister, and because your boyfriend is in college, you just want to be free. Sylvia, I recommend that you do not become emancipated from your home because you have no source of income, less than two years left, my parents will never let me see you again, and you have no where to live,

         First, because you have no source of income Sylvia, you should not become emancipated from your home. You have no job, no savings, no allowance, and your boyfriend barely makes it by supporting himself, you would not be able to even buy a pack of gum. Just last year you said, "I am so broke I can't even afford a .99 cent burger!" Since you haven't come into any money since then, what makes you think you can afford that burger now? Sylvia, you should not become emancipated from your home because you have no source of income.

        Second, Sylvia, you should not become emancipated from your home because my parents will never let us each other again. My parents are over-protective and try to control every aspect of my life, cutting out every "bad" influence. When my parents heard about you considering emancipation, they told me if you did they would "never let me see you again." My parents believe you would be a terrible influence on me if you were ever to become emancipated. Please Sylvia, because we would never see each other again, do not become emancipated from your home.

        Additionally, you should not seek emancipation from your home Sylvia because you have less than two years with them anyways. You are almost 17, if you have survived this long, you can survive less than two years. As Edmund Forest once said, "If you have made it through all these years, what is a few more days of torture when you know freedom is near?" Same concept applies, you you have made it this far, go all the way, because freedom (without a price) is near. Sylvia, you have less than two years, so you should not eek emancipation from your home.

        Lastly, because you will have no where to live, you should not become emancipated from your home Sylvia. If you have no where to live, you will be living on the streets, and that would be incredibly dangerous. 65% of all females living on the street alone end up being kidnapped. Living on the streets could prove to be fatally dangerous for you. Sylvia, you should not become emancipated from your home because you will have no where to live.

        In conclusion, as you best friend Sylvia, I advise you against seeking emancipation from your home. You have no money coming to you. Sylvia, we would never be able to see each other again. You have less than two years left living at home. You have no house, no where to stay. Emancipation is not a wise choice Sylvia, stay at home and appreciate what you've got before it's gone all together.

2 comments:

  1. I think this essay deserves a 4 because it's easy to understand, it's got all the topics and clinchers where they need to be and the grammer is good apart from minor errors that you wouldn't have made if your were actually writing it by hand like you will be in the HSPE.

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    Replies
    1. I agree, I think this essay definitely deserves a 4. You started off strong, good thesis, great examples in your body paragraphs, transitions and correct grammar, and valid reasons for your argument.

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